Grace Note #96 "From Servants to Friends"

Grace Note #96 “From Servants to Friends”

Adapted excerpt from Ty Gibson’s book An Endless Falling in Love, pages 121-126.

I am absolutely certain that people who are in love should not relate to each other as masters and slaves. To do so would suggest that the relationship is not founded in love.

“And it shall be in that day,”

Says the Lord,

“That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’

And no longer call me ‘My Master’” (Hosea 2:16).

Here is presented a sharp contrast between two very distinct pictures of God, and two very distinct ways of relating to Him. One is true and the other is a false conception.

Satan led the Eden couple into sin by misrepresenting God’s character. Such was the distorted picture painted on the inner canvas of the human heart by the fallen angel, a portrait that made God out to be an arbitrary, restrictive, self-centered slave master.

Once the false image was embraced, the situation became even more complicated. The severe sense of guilt that rightfully attended Adam and Eve’s transgression served to reinforce the lie now residing in their darkened perception—that their guilt was being arbitrarily imposed on them by God—and they now believed Him to be a self-serving master ruling over them as slaves.

Then came the long and sordid history of human beings attempting to appease the anger and earn the favor of the God they believed to be an arbitrary dominator. Believing God to be a master ruling over humanity as slaves, men have developed various systems of worship that cannot help but reflect that misconception.

With this belief system, it is thought, or at least felt, that our happiness is to be found in disobedience to God’s rules, for those rules restrict our pleasure and prevent our elevation. So, obedience means bondage. God doesn’t want us doing whatever He has forbidden, not because those actions will cause us harm, but merely in order to control us.

In sharp contrast, from a Biblical perspective God’s law is a matter of altruistic principle rather than arbitrary requirement. Altruism is the “unselfish concern for the welfare of others”. In harmony with His true character, God’s law is based on selfless, other-centered love (Matthew 22:36-40, Romans 13:10). He designed all of creation for life and happiness and has, therefore, made no law that is not truly meant for our well-being and pleasure. To violate these benevolent principles brings negative consequences upon us that derive directly from sin itself.

The difference between these two pictures is dominance versus love.

Jesus called for the same kind of radical change in our perception of God: “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends….” (John 15:15) For Christ to say such a thing clearly indicates that His followers were, in fact, viewing their relationship with God as a master-servant arrangement.

We must ask the logical question: “What could possibly be wrong in relating to the Monarch of the universe as servants in subjection to a master?” Yes, the fact that we are sinners drives us to that humble position. But the astounding truth is that God refuses to accept that kind of arrangement.

Like the prodigal son, we say, “I am no longer worthy ... make me like one of your hired servants” (Luke 15:19). But like the “prodigal father,” apparently as “wasteful” with His love as the prodigal son was with his money, God responds by ignoring our plea for a servant’s position and says, “This my child was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found” (Luke 15:24).

In a remarkable display of mercy, God allows us to approach Him as a Master, our hearts filled with misconceptions about His character, while He endeavors to allure us into a love relationship with Himself.

He allows us to relate to him as a Master, all the while desiring in His heart that we would grow up in our understanding to see Him as bridegroom and a friend.

God longs to hear from our lips, “Yes, He is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend (Song of Songs 5:16). Here is the high and beautiful end to which our spiritual experience is tending.

We begin our journey as children. We hear God saying to us, “No! No! No!” “Don’t touch that!” “Get that out of your mouth!” “Thou shalt not!” “Sit right there and don’t move!” “Why?” we ask. But we are incapable at this point of understanding the answer. So we hear Him say, “Because I said so!”

In the child stage of our spiritual journey, God looks like a master and His law feels like restrictive rules that must be kept in order to avoid punishment and to earn rewards.

But, notice what Paul says of his and our spiritual growth, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I am known” (I Corinthians 13:11-12).

God is eager for us to “grow up in all things” (Ephesians 4:15, 13). There comes a time in every spiritual journey when one must put away childish thoughts and understandings about God. We either continue to serve God as slaves or we mature to love Him as His faithful bride. Ezekiel 16:8 calls this juncture “the time … for you to fall in love” (TEV). This is when we move from being governed by the external rule of authority to the internal rule of love.

If we continue attempting to serve God with a slave-master mentality, moved merely by fear of being lost and desire for the rewards of Heaven, we will find the love-relationship language of the Bible to be foreign, mysterious, perhaps even offensive.

The most radical thing you will ever do is allow your heart to see God as He really is. Hosea’s prophecy clearly calls for a revolutionary paradigm shift in our perception of God and our manner of relating to Him. The Creator looks forward to “that day” when His people, you and me included, will no longer call Him “Master,” but rather “Husband.” 

When to Talk to a Man!

The following relationship advice is from is from Chapter 6 of John Gray’s book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus which is entitled “Men Are Like Rubber Bands”:

"When to Talk with a Man"

When a man is pulling away is not the time to talk or try to get closer. Let him pull away. After some time, he will return. He will appear loving and supportive and will act as though nothing has happened. This is the time to talk.

At this golden time, when a man wants intimacy and is actually available to talk, women generally don’t initiate conversations. This occurs for these three common reasons:

1. A woman is afraid to talk because the last time she wanted to talk, he pulled away. She mistakenly assumes that he doesn’t care and he doesn’t want to listen.

2. A woman is afraid the man is upset with her and she waits for him to initiate a conversation about his feelings. She knows that if she were to suddenly pull away from him, before she could reconnect she would need to talk about what happened. She waits for him to initiate a conversation about what upset him. He, however, doesn’t need to talk about his upset feelings because he is not upset.

3. A woman has so much to say that she doesn’t want to be rude and just start talking. To be polite, instead of talking about her own thoughts and feelings she makes the mistake of asking him questions about his thoughts and feelings. When he has nothing to say, she concludes that he doesn’t want to have a conversation with her.

"How to Get a Man to Talk"

When a woman wants to talk or feels the need to get close, she should do the talking and not expect a man to initiate the conversation. To initiate a conversation she needs to be the first to begin sharing, even if her partner has little to say. As she appreciates him for listening, gradually he will have more to say.

A man can be very open to having a conversation with a woman but at first have nothing to say. What women don’t know about Martians is that they need to have a reason to talk. They don’t talk just for the sake of sharing. But when a woman talks for a while, a man will start to open up and share how he relates to what she has shared.

"How Women Pressure Men to Talk"

A woman sharing her thoughts naturally motivates a man to talk. But when he feels a demand is being made that he talk, his mind goes blank. Even if he has something to say he will resist because he feels her demand.

It is hard for a man when a woman demands that he talk. She unknowingly turns him off by interrogating him. Especially when he doesn’t feel the need to talk. A woman mistakenly assumes that a man “needs to talk” and therefore “should”. She forgets that he is from Mars and doesn’t feel the need to talk as much.

To reject a man for not talking is to ensure that he has nothing to say. A man needs to feel accepted just the way he is, and then he will gradually open up. He does not feel accepted when she wants him to talk more or resents him for pulling away.

A man who needs to pull away a lot before he can learn to share and open up will first need to listen a lot. He needs to be appreciated for listening, then gradually he will say more.

"How to Initiate a Conversation with a Man"

The more a woman tries to get a man to talk the more he will resist. Instead of wondering how she can get him to talk a better question might be “How can I achieve greater intimacy, conversation, and communication with my partner?” A woman can initiate more conversation but with a mature awareness that not only accepts but also expects that sometimes he will be available and at other times he will instinctively pull away.

When he is available, instead of asking him 20 questions or demanding that he talk, she could let him know that she appreciates him even if he just listens. In the beginning she should even discourage him from talking.

For example, she could say “Honey, would you listen to me for a while?” After talking for a couple of minutes, she could pause and say “I really appreciate when you listen to my feelings, it means a lot to me.” This appreciation encourages a man to listen more.

Without appreciation and encouragement, a man may lose interest because he feels as though his “listening” is “doing nothing.” He doesn’t realize how valuable listening is to her. Most women, however, instinctively know how important listening is. To expect a man to know this without some training is to expect him to be like a woman. Fortunately, after being appreciated for listening to a woman, a man does learn to respect the value of talking.

When a man feels appreciated for listening and he doesn’t feel rejected for not sharing more, he will gradually begin to open up. When he feels as if he doesn’t have to talk more, then naturally he will. But first he needs to feel accepted. If she is still frustrated by his silence then she is forgetting that men are from Mars.

Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus, pages 99-104.

“The Grand Re-enactment”

“The Grand Reenactment”

By Ty Gibson, from his book, The Sonship of Christ, Chapter 8.

Adapted by Gary L. Clendenon, October, 2021.

As the son of God, the life of Jesus was a complete and faithful reenactment of Israel’s history. It would not be an exaggeration to say that this is the whole point of the Bible.

Christ passed over the same experiential ground Israel traversed, but He was true to the covenant in place of Israel’s failures. The parallels between the two stories are deliberate and striking.

In the Old Testament, a young man named Joseph had dreams and was sent into Egypt to preserve his family. In the New Testament, another Joseph had dreams and then fled with his family to Egypt—escaping certain death.

When Israel came out of Egypt, God called the nation, “my son” (Exodus 4:22). When Jesus came out of Egypt, God said, “Out of Egypt I have called my son” (Matthew 2:15), forging an intentional parallel between the story of ancient Israel and the story of Jesus as God’s new Israelite son.

God’s son, Israel, passed through the Red Sea as they fled from the Egyptian army. The apostle Paul says they were thus “baptized unto Moses … in the sea” (I Cor. 10:2). Directly after being baptized as Israel’s new corporate representative, Jesus was introduced to the world by God with the words, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.” Jesus is relaunching Israel’s history.

Israel wandered in the wilderness for 40 years … yielding to temptation over and over again, finally entering into the Promised Land of Canaan under the leadership of a man bearing the name, “Joshua,” which means Yahweh saves. Christ spent 40 days in the wilderness being tempted by the devil without ever yielding, before He began to lead humanity into the heavenly Promised Land under the name “Jesus,” which also means Yahweh saves, being the Greek equivalent of “Joshua.”

Moses went up Mount Sinai to receive the 10 Commandments from God and then delivered them to Israel. In Israel, Jesus positioned Himself at another mountain, announcing that He had come to “fulfill” the law and magnify its relational significance.

Ancient Israel was composed of the twelves sons of Jacob and their posterity—the “Twelve Tribes of Israel”. Jesus deliberately followed this narrative pattern by calling twelve apostles, from which emerged a spiritual posterity that would become the continuation of Israel, called the church, now composed of all nations.

Israel was called to be “a kingdom of priests, and a holy nation,” for the purpose of being a light to all nations, the intent being to incorporate into Israel every people group of the world (Exodus 19:6; Deut. 4:5-8). The church Jesus founded was the new Israel, called to be “a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation” (I Peter 2:9), composed of people from every nation, and given the mission of bringing the light of God’s love to the whole world.

So all of that is there in the Bible? Wow! The sheer literary art of the narrative is so breathtaking that it simply cannot be a coincidental production. The chances are so remote as to be impossible.

The truly remarkable thing is that this story invites us to believe the very thing we secretly hope in our inmost hearts to be true—we are the objects of a faithful love that would rather die than let us go. One of the reasons we can know the story of Scripture is true is because it is true to our deepest longings for a quality of love that finds no perfectly satisfying match in this covenant-breaking world of ours. Jesus embodies what we intuitively know we are made for—perfect relational integrity.

Unfortunately, over time, the theological vision of Christianity became so thoroughly saturated in Greek thought by the medieval church, that the distinctly Hebrew orientation toward covenant relationship is almost unknown in modern Christianity.

The Bible is telling us a story. Jesus is the towering, central figure of the story. The goal of the story is that covenantal love would be restored to the human race. Everything that God promised to the world through Israel, God’s unfaithful son, was now brought to pass in God’s faithful son, Jesus Christ.

This, then, is the sense in which the New Testament calls Jesus, “the son of God.”