"The Inter-Age Rule for Dating" (1-21-2015)

             

I, Gary, found this on a discussion board:

"For any ONE couple, age may or may not make a difference.

But statistically? Yes, it does. I did some research. Here's what I came up with. I read that the age difference which has the lowest divorce rate is where the man is 4-7 years older than the woman. The group with the highest divorce rate? Where the woman is 5 or more years older than the man. But when the gap is 8 or more years between the partners, the divorce rate is about the same for men and women and is higher than groups with a smaller gap."

jerseytorch
found here: Ask Men.com Discussion Board http://boards.askmen.com/showthread.php?113837-What-is-an-ideal-age-difference-for-marriage

“GOD has Plans for You!” (Grace Note #94)

 

“GOD has Plans for You!”

Grace Note #94

By Gary L. Clendenon, January 21, 2021

(All Bible verses quoted from The Message Bible)

In Jeremiah 29:11, we find one of the most beloved and quoted promises of GOD Almighty:

“I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”

This promise is the centerpiece in a table set out for a feast. Here’s what surrounds this centerpiece in verses 10-14:

“...I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I am doing. … When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. … I’ll turn things around for you. … You can count on it.”

These are still some quality promises, but what makes this feast of words even more tasty is knowing and understanding the context of the rest of the chapter these words come from.

Jeremiah chapter 29 is a letter from GOD to the exiled Jews who were taken to Babylon. Jeremiah transcribed this letter from GOD and sent it to the Jews in Babylon. To these people away from their homeland, these words were an much need affirmation that GOD had not forgotten them in that foreign land and that GOD had some very specific plans for them to count on.

In verse 10, GOD says, “As soon as Babylon’s 70 years are up and not a day before … I’ll bring you back home.” This wasn’t a new idea, but a reminder of the plans GOD had stated through Jeremiah before the Jews were conquered by the Babylonians (See Jeremiah 25:11-12). Sure enough, true to GOD’s word, 70 years later Cyrus, the new King of Persia released the Jews to return to Jerusalem (See Ezra 1:1-4).

Whatever you are going through right now, take heart. The “GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies” has got your back. He has a plan—specific plans—for the whole world, for your country, and most exciting of all, for you. You may not see those plans right now, but don’t worry, as we’ve seen, GOD’s timing is always perfect and “He makes all things beautiful in His time.” (1) You can trust GOD. You can trust GOD’s plans for you.

That is the cherry on top of the dessert that is the highlight of the feast of Jeremiah chapter 29.

1. Ecclesiastes 3:11

“Responding to Babylon: Thoughts on Jeremiah 27” (Grace Note #93)

 

“Responding to Babylon: Thoughts on Jeremiah 27”

(Grace Note #93)

By Gary L. Clendenon, January 14, 2021

(Bible verses quoted from The Message Bible, unless noted otherwise)

Normally, the Bible is very Israel-focused and the messages of the prophets are for the leaders of Israel. Not so in Jeremiah 27! GOD comes to Jeremiah and gives him a message for other nations. GOD tells Jeremiah to give the message to the Ambassadors of Edom, Moab, Ammon, Tyre, and Sidon so that they can get the message to their leaders back home. What’s the message?

I am the one who made the earth, man, and woman, and all the animals in the world. … I am giving your land over to my servant Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon. … All nations will be under him, then his son, then his grandson. Then his country’s time will be up and the tables will be turned. ...the nation that accepts the yoke of the king of Babylon and does what he says, I’ll let that nation stay right where it is, minding its own business. (Jeremiah 27: 5-8, 11)

Jeremiah then goes on: “Then I gave the same message to Zedekiah, king of Judah: ‘Harness yourself up to the yoke of the king of Babylon. Serve him and his people. Live a long life’!” (Ibid, v. 12)

Amos 3:7 says “The Sovereign LORD never does anything without revealing his plans to his servants, the prophets.” (GNT) I love this, but what an even more amazing GOD that would also let the “enemies” of Israel—the “heathens”, the “unbelievers”, the “outsiders”—in on His plans! How does that not speak to the Universality of GOD and His care for all human life? He tips his hands—even to his “opponents”—so that they can choose what is best for them in the long run. How inclusive is our GOD? (“...so that whoever believes in Him will not perish…” John 3:16)

We live in “uncertain times” right now. Yet, we have a GOD who sees and knows everything that will happen and, as we’ve seen, has a history of revealing His plans to His people in advance. In these challenging times, we can remember that—in spite of how everything looks around us—that GOD is “for us” not “against us” (Romans 8:31).

Is this a time for us to submit to “Babylon”—knowing that GOD is in control of all outcomes in our country? Or, is it maybe time to, as it says in Revelation “Come out of Babylon”? I can’t answer that for you. You’ll have to trust whatever GOD’s Holy Spirit is telling you, but do know this: Something bigger than political parties or administrations is going on right now in the United States, and we need to be aware of this bigger picture as we pray for wisdom on what we can and cannot do. For, as Paul says in Ephesians 6:12: “...our fight is not against any physical enemy: it is against organisations and powers that are spiritual. We are up against the unseen power that controls this dark world, and spiritual agents from the very headquarters of evil.”  (Phillips)

What is out of our hands is in GOD’s hands, and that’s the best news of all.

“Elihu Lit into Job Again!” (Grace Note #92)

“Elihu Lit into Job Again!”  (Grace Note #92) 

By Gary L. Clendenon, January 4, 2021

(All Bible verses quoted from The Message Bible)

In the biblical book of Job, chapter 35, after Job’s three friends have all expressed their arguments against Job, a young man named Elihu continues to speaks. He says to Job, “I’m going to show you that you don’t know what you are talking about, neither you nor your friends.” (verse 4). So, this young man has all the answers, he thinks. I was a young man once, and I recognize that “confidence”. LOL.

Elihu says, “If you sin, what difference does that make to God? … If you are good, what would God get out of that? Do you think he’s dependent on your accomplishments?” (verses 6&7)

Is GOD dependent on our behavior? Obviously, He’s not Co-dependent—because that would be unhealthy. But, look at the whole Old Testament: It’s basically GOD grieving all out loud and messy that His people’s behavior is hurtful to Him! So, whether or not He has to be dependent, He has chosen to be effected by our behavior. That’s what happens when you choose to Love and be in relationship with others: their behavior effects you!

Elihu continues, “When times get bad, people cry out for help. … But never give a thought to God when things go well. People are arrogantly indifferent to God—until, of course, they are in trouble, and then God is indifferent to them.” (verses 9-13)

Although I agree wholeheartedly with Elihu’s first thought—after all, it is human nature to take relationships for granted when they are going well, I strongly disagree with his conclusion that “God is indifferent” to us when we call out to Him in trouble. Elihu’s argument is completely debunked by the outsider’s view of the Job story where we get to see the whole picture—the whole story. We know that God is not only NOT indifferent to Job’s life and story, but intimately involved with it and very closely monitoring every act and word of this story!

One might say, “Well, that just Job’s story!” But, I would argue, based on the very intimate and personal promises made to His children and sprinkled throughout the whole Bible, that if these promises are true, and I choose to believe that they are, then GOD is also intimately involved with each of our lives. GOD desires that intimacy and, as much as we let Him, GOD will be that close to us. GOD wants to be, as “The Carpenters” famously sang, “Close to you”!

Once again, Elihu continues in Job chapter 36, verses 3&4, “Trust me, … I know these things inside and out. It’s true that God is all-powerful, but he doesn’t bully innocent people.”

In other words, Elihu is saying, “Job, logically, you have to be wrong. Because, obviously you cannot be ‘innocent’ because these bad things have happened to you. So, you must repent of your sin. This is the reason for your suffering. You are only making things worse by fighting us, your friends, and GOD on this. This is all on you. So, don’t be stupid here!”

Ironically, this is the same argument that Job’s “3 Friends” had already made in so many different ways, and therefore, nothing new.

It is my understanding, as learned from Professor Alden Thompson in his “Old Testament History” class, that the Old Testament view of suffering was that all things—good and bad—came from GOD, and that GOD took credit for everything. (1) That is to say that the Old Testament mind had no knowledge of Satan or demons bringing trouble to us. Obviously, that perspective changed with Jesus enlightening His followers to the works of Satan and demons. Now, because of that and other New Testament writings, we have a more balanced perspective on this topic.

So, it is actually true that Job’s friends’ logic was not that far off—based on their understandings of the Universe they lived in. I like what Eugene Peterson, author “The Message Bible”, says about this in his “Intro” to the book of Job: “Many of the answers that Job’s so-called friends give him are technically true. But it is the ‘technical’ part that ruins them. They are answers without personal relationship, intellect without intimacy. The answers are slapped on Job’s ravaged life like labels on a specimen bottle. Job rages against this secularized wisdom that has lost touch with the living realities of God.”

In the end of Job’s story, when GOD finally does answer Job, we find out that everyone was wrong—Job and all of his friends! But, and this is a very interesting point to ponder, out of all of them, according to GOD, Job was the most right in his words and actions.

Prayer: GOD, your mysterious ways are unfathomable to us mere humans. Help me to maintain a proper perspective of humility in what I think that I know about you—or anything else for that matter. ~ Amen!

(1) For more on this idea, read Alden Thompson’s book, “Who’s Afraid of the Old Testament God?”

“Self-Confidence” (Grace Note #61)

“Self-Confidence” (Grace Note #61) 

Written by Gary L. Clendenon, December 6-10, 2018


I recently came across this text—I Corinthians 10:12—in my weekly Bible study from The Message Bible. It inspired the thoughts that follow:

“Forget about self-confidence; ... Cultivate God-confidence.”

Given the current focus on SELF in our society today, this verse is a challenging and thought-provoking text! As a Christian, I am to be led by a different philosophical perspective, as taught by Jesus and the Bible. There is a huge tension in the Bible created by all the texts encouraging us not to be “selfish” which goes against our natural desires as humans to want everything to go our way. Here is an excellent example of many texts that give this message:

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others better than yourselves. Don’t look out for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

So, obviously, it is very clear from the Bible that being selfish is to be avoided at all cost! But, is there a difference between self-confidence and selfishness? Is the Bible teaching us that self-confidence is wrong or bad?

Here’s my take, but first let me remind you of “The Pendulum Effect” (a.k.a. “The Pendulum Law”) discovered in 1602 by Galileo. According to Dictionary.com, “the theory holding that trends in culture, politics, etc., tend to swing back and forth between two opposite extremes.” The “etc.” here, I believe, also holds true for religion and our personal lives.

There was a period of history called “The Dark Ages” (a.k.a. “The Middle Ages”). For our purposes, we will look at the Church and Religion during this time before the Reformation was started by Martin Luther in the 16th century. One of the reasons, this period was called “The Dark Ages” was because this was the time before the Bible was available for all humans to read.

The main Church of this time was the Catholic Church and they held the only Bibles and they were in Latin, so the people were completely dependent on the Priests of the Church for their Biblical understanding. It was during this period of time—and after—that the Church and its Priests and Theologians promulgated the teaching that is now called “Worm Theology”, which was based on several texts in the Bible that state that we are worms in relationship to God.

I am strongly positing that “Worm Theology” is one of the extreme ends of a pendulum swing for religious belief, and that this belief leads us to an erroneous understanding of the “Self”. I am arguing that it is this belief that has kept us from a true and proper understanding of the “Self”. I also believe that it is our society’s backlash against this “Worm Theology” that has led us to our current over-focus on the Self—the other end of this pendulum’s swing!

The teachings of early Christians, and those who perpetuate this teaching today—that we are worms and there is nothing good in us—went too far! Yes, those statements are in the Bible for a good reason—we do tend to fall easily for the temptations of Selfishness and Pride, so we must be kept in check with Humility and Balance as we relate to our Real Worth and Value. In comparison to the unimaginable awesomeness of GOD, there can be no doubt the “worm” is a good metaphor. But wait, there’s more….

Dale Fincher, in an excellent blog post entitled “Unworthy, not Worthless” nails the correct perspective on this topic:

“...we are worms. Is that the story?

Our Christian vocabulary has confused two very important words and made them one.

Unworthy. Worthless.

These do not mean the same thing. But when we attach them to each other, we end up talking and believing that our unworthiness means our worthlessness.” (1)

Yes, we are “Unworthy” but no we are not “Worthless”. As Christians, we have an advantage over those who don’t believe in God. The Bible is very clear that we as individuals matter to the GOD-head! We are told so in numerous verses.

Unlike Atheists, who must completely go it alone, completely relying on themselves and their own wits and wisdom, we Christians have a GOD who says They have a Plan for our lives, a purpose, and that even when bad times come, they will be—eventually—turned into Good! (Romans 8:28) Our All-Powerful GOD has “got our back” through all of life’s troubles and when we follow His Way, His Teachings, His Rules, blessings are poured out on us and our families.

I know this is true in my life. Even though I have been through some very difficult times and situations, GOD has always met my needs, and sometimes, even my wants. ALWAYS!

Everything we are and have is a gift from GOD—even our every breath. Our strengths, our positives, all from GOD. When we start focusing on these qualities and thinking we are “All that”, that is when we cross the line from a healthy self-confidence to arrogance and pride. It really is such a fine line. I think that is why Paul says “God-confidence” is a much better option to go with.

With God-confidence, we keep a truer perspective and balance, as the focus is not as much on ourselves as it is on what GOD has given us and what GOD is doing through us. And, because GOD is All-Powerful and has our best interest in mind, how could that not be a better confidence??

It is this confidence that says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). Notice the healthy balance of self in this statement. Notice that the “I” is strong and confident—without timidness or shame, but yet has the awareness of where that strength and confidence is coming from. This is ideal self-confidence—what Paul calls “God-confidence”—because there is the awesome awareness of the proper place of the Self.

When Christ is in us, there IS something good in us! We are a reflection of Him! Yes, often a poor reflection (“Now we see a dim reflection, as if we were looking into a broken mirror” I Cor. 13:12 NCV/NLV); nevertheless, what good is seen in us is a glint, a glimpse, of the wonderfulness that GOD intended when all was good—“very good” (Gen. 1:31).

The mistake of the “Self” movement is that it encourages us to take full credit for these glimpses of GOD working in us. When this happens, our view of self becomes unbalanced. This is the trap that leads the healthy, balanced self down the slippery slope to Pride, then Arrogance. This is self-confidence detached from God-confidence. Detached from the Source of perfect Wisdom and Strength, we will, without fail, get in over our heads and mess things up! The Bible describes this outcome with these familiar words: “Pride goes before a fall.” We have all experienced this “fall” and know the sting of the Truth of these words.

This topic has reminded me of a list of sayings I have created called “Gary-isms” (2). One of them addresses the false idea of “Worm Theology” that says we ought to consider our “selves” worthless. “Gary-ism #9”:

“You will love your neighbor as yourself. For your neighbor's sake, please learn to love yourself well!”

Jesus reiterated exactly the Old Testament command from God Himself: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” (Leviticus 19:18) Jesus said it was the 2nd greatest commandment, so that makes it extremely important for us to pay attention to!

In looking at this command, it is quite clear that there is a thing called “Self-love”. Now, whether that is a healthy self-love or not can be debated, but what matters is that whatever form of self-love we have, it must—per GOD’s command—be extended towards our neighbor.

Now, if we have been deceived by “Worm Theology” and loathe and hate our-“selves” as worthless, then in keeping GOD’s 2nd Greatest (to love others as we love ourselves) it follows that we would also loathe and hate our neighbors! If you think about this, you will realize that it is true! Humans treat and value others the same exact way that they treat and value themselves!

That is why in Gary-ism #9, I say, “For your neighbor's sake, please learn to love yourself well!” It is imperative, I believe that we get a proper, healthy view of ourselves through GOD’s Loving eyes. When we fully experience His view of us as His loved Children, we can have God-confidence knowing that because GOD dwells in us, we are not worms, but valuable vessels of GOD’s Love.

When this happens (because “You can’t give what you don’t have”), we will be able to love others if not well, at least better; thus, to our best efforts, fulfilling the 2nd Greatest Command of GOD. This is my current best understanding of why Paul says “God-confidence” ought to be sought over “self-confidence”. What is your perspective on this verse?

(1) https://margmowczko.com/unworthy-but-not-worthless/

(2) https://www.facebook.com/notes/gary-l-clendenon/gary-isms/10155257496041215/

“Jesus and Stories!” (Grace Note #60)

“Jesus and Stories!” (Grace Note #60)
Written by Gary L. Clendenon, November 1, 2018


I recently read the 4th chapter of the Gospel of Mark in my weekly Bible study from The Message Bible and was astonished at what I found. I would like to share that astonishment with you!

First, I will share some of the exact words from the chapter, then I will share my perspective on those words.

Mark 4:2: “He taught by using stories, many stories.”

Mark 4:9: [Jesus says,]“Are you listening to this [story]? Really listening?”

Mark 4:10: [His close followers] “...asked him about the stories.” … “He told them, ‘You’ve been given insight into God’s kingdom—you know how it works. But to those who can’t see it yet, everything comes in stories, creating readiness, nudging them toward receptive insight.”

Mark 4:13: [Jesus says,] “Do you see how this story [of the scattered seed] works? All my stories work this way.”

Mark 4:33: “With so many stories like these, he presented his message to them, fitting the stories to their experience and maturity. He was never without a story when he spoke. When he was alone with his disciples, he went over everything, sorting out the tangles, untying the knots.”

You probably guessed it, but here’s what amazed and astonished me: Jesus, GOD in the Flesh, was the Master Teacher, and according to this chapter in the Bible, Jesus is revealing His “#1 Method of Evangelism” to outsiders—or what the Church calls unbelievers: STORIES!

Jesus’ #1 Method of Evangelism is NOT teaching, or preaching, or Bible studies, or evangelistic meetings, but STORIES!

Jesus says this is the tool He uses to plant seeds in people’s hearts and minds that, when watered, will “nudge them toward receptive insight”—that “Aha” light-bulb above the head moment when they get an insight, and then want more. Then, when they are ready, that is the time for the teaching and preaching and Bible studies and meetings—what the verse calls “sorting out” and “untying”. What we would call in the modern vernacular “unpacking”.

FIRST, the seed is the stories. Oh my goodness! For so many years we the Church have been doing Evangelism wrong—backwards!! Not only that but look how it says Jesus “fit the stories to their experience and maturity.” He was catering His stories to their level of understanding—meeting them “right where they where at”!! This is genius! How have we missed this? Where is the Theological Teaching on this topic? Where are the books on this teaching?

I am stunned to realize this—embarrassed for myself and my Church! Again, how have we missed this? Why isn’t Story-telling the #1 focus of our Evangelism?? I feel angry about this. The Devil has so distracted us with a “cart-before-the-horse” mentality that we have totally missed this important Truth!

Now, let me take this a step further by asking you what the modern equivalent of a story is? The answer that came to my mind is: Storybooks, Songs, Plays, Podcasts, TV Shows, and Movies! Now, if what I discovered is true—that Jesus #1 Method of Evangelism is stories, then it is no wonder that we Christians are not more successful at Evangelism than we are! We are NOT using Jesus’ method!! Storybooks, Songs, Plays, Podcasts, TV Shows, and Movies ought to be the Church’s PRIMARY FOCUS when it comes to sharing the “Good News” with others!

Take a look at what is so popular right now: “Streaming Stories on the Internet!” Netflix, Amazon, YouTube, Audible, iTunes, and all the regular TV channels are ALL HUGE right now with streaming. Literally billions of dollars are being invested into these services! Why? Because people LOVE stories and will gladly pay to see them or hear them or read them!

Therefore, given Jesus’ method as shown to us in Mark 4 (and, of course, the rest of the Gospels), it would seem to me that we Christians ought to be the best at this method—the leaders in the field, so to speak! But, sadly, we are not. What can be done about this? Well, as they say in 12-step, awareness is the first step. So, I am sharing this with you to bring awareness. You can share what I wrote with others to bring them awareness. We can all make an intentional effort, given this awareness, to add more STORIES into our lives as we share our lives and faith with others.

What Would Jesus Do? I’m pretty sure He would tell a story.

To War? (Grace Note #13)

Both of my children are actively involved in one of the popular video games that is out today. This game involves battling against a terrible enemy that is out to destroy you and the world. Because of that, a key part of the game is your armor and your weapons. Time and virtual money are spent on enhancing yourself for optimum battle strength and ability.

As a Portland-born, peace-loving, pacifist, watching my children play this game is quite a challenge for me. Not only do I not enjoy it, but it causes me stress and anxiety. I got to thinking, “What does the Bible say about this?” I was surprised at what came to mind: “...there was war in heaven.... The great dragon was hurled down.... Then the dragon was enraged at the woman and went off to make war against the rest of her offspring.... (Revelation 12:7, 9, 17)

And: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against … the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil....” (Ephesians 6:12) In the next verses, we are told to “put on the full armor of God” and then, specifically, what each piece of armor is and what it does.

Included with this armor is our one offensive weapon—“the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (v. 17) Hebrews 4:12 says this “word of God” is “sharper than any double-edged sword” and that it “penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit.”

A very sharp weapon can be a dangerous thing if used improperly. I like the fact that my NIV Study Bible in speaking about Ephesians 6:12 cautions “against lashing out at human opponents as though they were the real enemy.” We have all seen this happen and know that it ain't pretty when a Christian gets confused about who the real enemy is!

Based on the texts I've cited, it looks like, whether we want to admit it or not, whether we choose to participate or not, as Christians we are in a prolonged war with a wicked enemy. This thought can be discouraging—especially for those of us who don't want to fight. But, don't lose hope. There is good news. As one Christian gospel song suggests, I've read the ending of the Good Book, and . . . we win!

I don't have time or space here, but many of the Bible texts and accompanying stories under the term “battle” in my Bible's Concordance are also certainly worth looking at: 1 Samuel 17:47 (from David's speech against Goliath (45-47), 2 Chronicles 20:15, Psalms 24: 7, 8, and Ecclesiastes 9:11.

The story of good vs. evil and its accompanying battles are everywhere in our world's mythology and culture. I don't think that is a coincidence. This unseen reality is written into our DNA. Until the final battle, we soldier on, crying out with David:

Praise be to the LORD my Rock,
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
He is my loving God and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge (Psalms 144:1, 2)

Your Problems!

"Your Problems!"

By Gary L. Clendenon  (c) 11-1-11 (Updated 3-29-24)

You cannot successfully run from your problems. You cannot successfully "get away" from your problems. You cannot successfully escape from your problems. You cannot successfully be rescued from your problems. You cannot successfully solve your problems by changing or exchanging relationships. You cannot successfully "Positive Think" your problems away. You cannot successfully move somewhere else and leave your problems behind. You cannot. You can try any or all of these things, but they will not completely work. Why? Because . . .

"WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE."

YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.  So, wherever you run, escape, flee, or move to, your problems will follow. You may trick yourself into thinking that you have left them behind, but it won't be long 'til they slowly work their way through your mental mazes and pop back out.

Even if you move to another continent, change your job, change your partner, change your look, start all over--a whole "new" life, it will not solve your problems. It cannot solve your problems, for they are a part of you. They are inside of you, and wherever you go, there they are!

Albert Einstein, indisputably one of the most intelligent men in modern history said, "You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it." If you want to solve your problems, you must understand how they were created. You must understand the mind that created your problems.

Your problems are not what they appear to be. The odd behaviors that you do, the strange actions that you take, the inexplicable decisions that you make, these are all just clues that there is someone behind the curtain running your life, and most of the time you are unaware of this person!

I will now reveal to you who this person is! The person behind the curtain is . . . [drum roll] . . . The Subconscious You. Since "subconscious" means "below the level of our awareness", that means that "The Unaware You" is running your life! 95% of our of everything that we do is done without our being aware of it. Only 5% of what we do, we are conscious and aware of!

Since this is true, it means that the source of most of your problems is beliefs that you are not aware of in your subconsciousness. Most all of these beliefs were directly hard-wired into your brain during the first six years of your life--without being filtered in any way! (Note to my SDA friends: "Insert corroborating E.G. White quote here.") (1)

Some of your subconscious beliefs are simply outdated--they served you well at a young age, but are no longer applicable to your life now. Some of your subconscious beliefs are related to events in your young life that you experienced as traumatic or stressful. In either case, when you experience something similar now, your mind automatically goes back to that young age, checks the belief you made at that time, and then responds as that child.

"As that child." I know! I know! Finding out that the one actually behind the curtain running your life is a small child is a little disconcerting! But, think about it for a minute. Doesn't it makes sense in a twisted sort of way? Wouldn't that explain a lot of the inexplicable things you have done that didn't make any sense from an adult perspective? Don't you sometimes feel that your responses to certain situations looking back seem kinda childish? Has anyone ever told you that you were acting or responding in a childish way--maybe told you that you need to "grow up"? Have you ever felt like a child trapped in an adult body? I see you nodding your head slowly in agreement that this idea does make sense after all.

Great! So, now what? Well, the answer is simple and yet challenging. If the source of your problems is outdated or incorrect beliefs and you want to "grow up" and live life as an adult, you will somehow need to become aware of your subconscious beliefs, decide if they are still valid or not, then either keep them or replace them with better beliefs. At first glance, this is easier said, than done; however, new ways of accomplishing this are being added to this field of Brain Psychology as they are discovered. Although there are probably more, I am aware of at least 10 specific tools or techniques that can be used to accomplish this.

1. Hypnosis: I am aware that hypnosis does help with subconscious beliefs, however, I cannot personally recommend it due to my own personal beliefs about the danger of allowing someone else to have control of your mind.

2. EFT "Emotional Freedom Techniques" (http://www.eftuniverse.com/): I am aware of this because a friend of mine has tried it and says that it works.

3. Psych-K (http://psych-k.com/): I have personally experienced "Psych-K". I found it to be very beneficial due to the fact that you can find out what specific beliefs you have that are incongruent with who you are and want to be. For example, the stunner for me was that I found out that I had a subconscious belief that there was not a Divine Force running the Universe. I am a very strong believer in GOD and have been all my life! Yet, underneath it all I had this belief that was sabotaging and and undermining my desired belief. Psyche-K replaces your undesired subconscious beliefs with desired beliefs. The downside of Psyche-K for me is that it is very expensive.

4. EMDR "Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing" (http://www.emdr.com/): I have personally experienced EMDR and found it to be very beneficial because it works on getting to your subconscious beliefs--especially the traumatic ones--and healing them. This is a powerful tool and I highly recommend it. The neat thing is that you do not even have to know what specifically you are working on and so you can heal traumatic memories that you are not even aware of or remember, per se. EMDR is “strongly recommended” for the treatment of trauma by Department of Veterans Affairs and Department of Defense for returning veterans struggling with PTSD. Although not as expensive as Psyche-K, it is still not inexpensive (think normal price for going to see a counselor). Because of it's efficiency, EMDR is covered by some insurances for PTSD.

5. The Healing Code(s): The Healing Code(s) was discovered in 2001 by Dr. Alexander Lloyd. In his book, The Healing Code, he shares with you the science and story behind the code (much of what I have written here has been inspired by this book), and how to do a generic "healing code" to receive healing. The only cost is the book itself! However, if you wish to purchase detailed "codes" for specific problems and get quicker, more efficient help, there are a couple of different plans that you can pay to sign up for ($199). I just recently discovered "The Healing Code" concept, have read the book, and am currently doing the code on myself daily and seem to be noticing some benefit. For a more detailed report on my journey, go here : facebook: or My Blog:

6. Belief in a Higher Power: As a Christian, I would be remiss if I did not mention my belief that GOD, my higher power, can heal anyone or anything. I believe that a spiritual practice which includes faith, Biblical studies, prayer, and fellowship with other believers can be of extreme benefit to the healing journey. I believe that GOD can and sometimes does directly heal our minds and other times leads us to other tools--such as some of the ones I listed above--that will help us on our healing journey. If we allow, GOD will direct our paths to lead us to the path that best fits our unique healing.

7. Positively "Renewing Our Minds" is a Facebook page that I created for further discussions on this topic that you can LIKE and/or FOLLOW.

8. Groups: There is healing power in being involved in focused groupwork whether it's 12-step, Christian, or Other groups.  Join. Participate. And you will grow.

9. Self-improvement Seminars: There are many of these, but two that I will strongly recommend are Foundations for Tomorrow (For me, personally, best seminar EVER!!) and Dr. Matt James NLP seminars.

10. Affirmations: Repeated use of Positive Affirmations will change your thinking and beliefs over time.  Louise Hay was called "The Queen of Affirmations".  Here is her website and you she has many books out that you can look into.

All the best to you in your healing journey. I pray that whatever Higher Power you serve, that your journey will be guided into what will be the best for you.

Gary L. Clendenon

1. The Healing Code, Alex Loyd, Phd., p. 122

A Personal Health Update!

Hello Friends, It has been a while since I have given y'all a personal update. As most of you know, for many years I have struggled with Chronic Fatigue, due to a number of known and unknown problems with my body that are probably all interrelated. Known: Hereditary Hypothyroidism, Allergies, some aftereffects from nasty viruses I picked up as a Missionary in Asia, Traumatic Brain Injury due to numerous sports-related Concussions--the last one received in a car accident in 2005, Physical and Emotional Depression, a case of Systemic Candida, and Digestive Problems--at least partially due to a recent discovery of 2 parasites: Roundworms and Cryptosporidium. Turns out I've been eating for 3! (I am in the 2nd month of treatment for the parasites, which has been quite a challenge to my already fragile system.)

Recently, I was looking around on Amazon.com and stumbled across a book entitled: The Healing Code: 6 Minutes to Heal the Source of Your Health, Success, or Relationship Issue

Having read The Bible Code and The Da Vinci Code and always being interested in getting help for my health--especially if it only took 6 minutes, I ordered a copy. I was a bit skeptical, but figured it was worth a try!

What I read seemed a bit hokey and way too easy, but after reading all the testimonials and the science and testing behind this theory, it seemed plausible. In a very simple nutshell, what really did resonate with me--and that is the focus of this update--was their belief that all illness and disease is caused by stress! So, their solution, obviously, involves getting rid of that stress. So, naturally, the question arises: "Where specifically does the stress come from?"

Turns out the authors are believers in Jesus Christ, although that is not the focus of the book and they do not push their beliefs, they do mention the Bible text in Proverbs 4:23 that says "Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." So, they came up with a unique test to find out what are the issues of YOUR heart so that you can focus "The Healing Code" on those issues.

The Heart Issues Finder test is an online test (click for link) with a printable 12 page Report and the Authors claim that it is the only test in the world available that measures the issues of your heart. So, I took it and discovered that my number one "Issue" is actually related specifically to my heart (each issue relates to a corresponding physical system in our bodies). My number one "Issue" is a lack of belief in myself. In other words, I look to others for my worth and value instead of looking to GOD and then having the strength to believe in myself--in spite of what others may think of me or my beliefs.

As I have thought about these results, I do believe that they are right on the money. And, just now, I realized the connection with this issue and "stress"--the cause of illness and disease--is that the stress comes from me worrying about whether I am OK or not in someone else's eyes. I have noticed (especially on facebook) that if someone else disagrees with me, I experience rejection! Although intellectually I know that "Experience does not equal Rejection" (a Foundations saying), my emotional experience does not equal my intellectual belief.

As The Healing Code teaches, many of our subconscious beliefs cause us stress because they do not match up with our conscious beliefs, and because they are subconscious, we are not aware of why we are experiencing the stress. We are unaware of why we are having the emotional response we are having. This is the glory of The Heart Issues Finder because now we can become aware of what is going on in our deep dark heart of hearts! And then, with "The Healing Code" (as described in the book by the same name), we can fix these unseen heart issues.

As I examine sources of stress in my life, I am realizing that I will need to make some changes. These are not easy changes for me to make because these things have been a part of my daily life for years. I am going to need to pull way back from any discussion of politics. I have discovered that this causes me stress. I am going to need to avoid talk radio, for it too causes me stress. There are some TV shows that I may need to avoid due to their stressful content.

The number one question on my heart today has been: "What do I replace all these stressful things with?" So far, the only answer I have come up with is soothing or uplifting music. Any wisdom in that direction from you would be appreciated!

I want to encourage you if you are intrigued by what I have shared, to consider taking The Heart Issues Finder (see link above) and purchasing The Healing Code book to learn how to do the actual code--It is really easy and can truly be done in 6 minutes!

May your Higher Power's Love surround You now and Bless You today and Forever. This is my Prayer.

Your Friend, Gary

LOVE and WAR!!

If you are or have been in a marriage, you know that it is work! One of my favorite authors, John Eldridge, and his wife, Stasi, has just come out with a new book and DVD series to help couples work through the marriage maze! It's called Love & War.

Here's a blurb from their website: "With refreshing openness that will grab you from their first words on the Love & War eight-session DVD video study—designed for use with the Love & War Participant’s Guide in a small group or retreat setting—hosts John and Stasi Eldredge candidly discuss their own marriage and the insights they’ve gained from the challenges they’ve faced. Each talks independently about what they’ve learned, giving their guidance a personal immediacy and balance between the male and female perspectives that has been absent from all previous group studies on this topic.

The Eldredges acknowledge that Marriage is fabulously hard, but they advise you that the sooner you get the shame and confusion of the fabled fairytale marriage off your back, the sooner you’ll find your way to the real love and happiness you deserve.

The Love & War DVD and Participant’s Guide show you how to step into the great adventure of a fruitful Marriage God has waiting for you and your spouse … together.

Walking alongside John and Stasi Eldredge, you and your spouse will discover how your individual journeys are growing into a story of meaning much greater than anything you could do or be on your own."

Here is a link to their Love & War webpage where you can watch samples from the DVD and get more information about the book and DVD series.